Jax in a Box.

Into the Wind

Yesterday was a rough one to me. Making realizations about one's life is not an easy pill to swallow. Following through on them will be even harder I'm sure. It's funny though, people who are closest to you can sense your distress. I had some great conversations with amazing friends. I am so grateful for the friends in my life.

I had dinner with my mom and brother last night. It was thoroughly pleasant up until we started talking politics (as I innocently enough brought up the last presidential debate). I was shocked to learn that my brother, my own flesh and blood, has republican leanings. I thought my mom was going to disown him when he went off on his mini-tirade in defense of Bush and the war. It was all I could do not to throw my grilled chicken sandwhich at him (granted, the margherita I was drinking stoked the fire a little too). We came to the conclusion that we would not continue the conversation any further because, being that we are a highly emotional family, somebody was bound to get hurt.

We went to see The Motorcycle Diaries last night. Gorgeous film - and highly profound in light of the mind-state I was in. In a nutshell, this was a filmed adaptation of Cuban revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara's journals of the same name. Talk about some talented acting - Gael García Bernal who was also in Y Tu Mamá También and Amores Perros (both phenomenal films) plays the pre-revolution Guevara. His acting is as good as his looks (the boy is absolutely gorgeous).There were so many stunning shots in this film it was almost hard to take, not to mention the black and white "moving stills" that in their own right were enough to move me to tears. I'm going to pick up the soundstrack as soon as I get a chance.

I guess what I took from the film was the idea of it being ok to just throw yourself into the wind and see where it takes you. Often times if you let life dictate your path, you'll end up learning the most important lessons. My mom stressed the same point to me - that of life having a path in mind for you. I'm going to end up where I'm meant to. My struggle with that is the thought of - what if that's not true? What if I live my life hoping I end up where I'm meant to, and it never actually happens. But, perhaps that in itself is a destiny. So here I am. Ready for the next gust of wind.

posted by jax @ 3:06 PM